Celebrate IWD with the uncelebrated women in your life

The world is celebrating International Women’s Day, a day set to recognize the contribution of women to the betterment of life in general – socially, economically, cultural, politically or otherwise.

While we celebrate, let us remember that despite numerous achievements by and for women, progress has slowed in many places around the world. It is a fact that COVID-19 has exacerbated that.

There is a lot of glamour and pomp for women who are powerful and popular, or those who we can tweet, email, Facebook or WhatsApp about. But what about the ordinary woman? Who celebrates her?

There is no doubt that women must feel safe and empowered to contribute to society. If their contribution is supported, there is proof everywhere that women are best placed to make the best decisions for themselves.

Women face numerous hurdles just to be. Therefore, instead of celebrating International Women’s Day because the world is, or just because of it, consider celebrating a woman near you. This year, let each one of us celebrate the mother, cleaner, house help, farmer, small businesswoman, mama mboga, – the women who support our everyday lives.

Do something for someone else
Every woman deserves the right and freedom to decide if/when/how many children she should have. For this I invite you to celebrate with me a woman who wishes to remain anonymous yet has tremendously contributed to strengthening women in the area of reproductive rights. For the sake of this piece, let’s call her the “contraceptives keeper” aka CK.

I met CK about 20 years ago in a rural area of Kenya I used to visit. She worked at the only community clinic around. Someone mentioned to me that CK had a passion for educating women on how to feed their families healthily using locally available produce. I was intrigued and asked to sit in through one of her meetings. It was quite informal with only a few women in attendance and it was the start of my friendship with CK.

Eventually she had me over to her place to meet her family and it became routine for me to visit whenever I could. Soon I started to notice that women came by to her home more than anyone else I knew. There were morning, lunchtime and evening drop-ins. Whenever someone came to visit, they would make sure to “side chat” for a few moments before the visitor would leave. Initially, I assumed this was about women chamas (merry go rounds), but the hushed tones of their conversations left me wondering. Eventually, my curiosity got the better of me and I asked CK about these visits.

The big reveal
After a long hesitation and having me swear never to tell, she came clean. Her professional and private lives often merged at her home.

In this region people were still very traditional, their lives heavily guided by tribal customs and religion. For most of them, God’s command in Genesis to populate the earth was how they honoured Him, literally. Women having what back then we called “staircase children”. But underneath it, these women were tired, sometimes overwhelmed and wanted a controlled number and gap between children. Some husbands of course wouldn’t hear of it.

It came to light during one of CK’s pre or ante-natal classes that many of the women were dealing with domestic abuse, sometimes associated with their contraceptive use. As they were brainstorming for a solution, one woman suggested that CK become the custodian of her contraceptives. By the end of that meeting, a local solution was found for a local problem. And so it was, CK started safekeeping and privately dispensing contraceptive pills to a number of women. And so many “passed by” her home daily.

CK introduced me to one woman, a mother of three, who told of how her husband had spent an entire morning turning the house upside down looking for any hidden contraceptives. Their youngest child had turned 3 and the husband was growing impatient for a next.

I was a little naive and shocked to imagine that birth control for spacing and family size could be something that a husband, most of whom were struggling to take care of their families anyway, would object to. At the same time, I was and still am filled with admiration for CK, who dared risk the wrath of those husbands to help other womenfolk make a simple decision regarding their own bodies, lives, health and well-being.

So on this #IWD2021, here is to a sisters’ keeper, my [S]hero CK. She choose to challenge a situation for other women.

Let today be a day you acknowledge, recognize, honour and celebrate all women in your life, especially those whose achievements are known little to anyone outside their circle. Remember the fight is for parity and equality not superiority. Give the same opportunities to women as men and watch what we can do.

~By Essie Wambui (twitter @westesita)