The Prayer Catch 22

My birthday is in December and that’s when I review, re-evaluate and resolute for the coming year. On this birthday morning, after thanking God for the wonderful gift of life and all it encompasses, I drifted into praying for something I haven’t prayed for in a long time. Then, almost immediately I caught myself, realizing that I had resolved to stop that line of prayer a while back when God revealed to me that I was in the waiting room, in line for my answer.

It was time to get past the pleading season and into thanksgiving and praise as I expectantly waited for His guidance. For before they call, I will answer; and while they are still speaking, I will hear, says Isaiah 65:24. This didn’t stop me either from thinking that the queue must be quite long because it was taking a little longer than hoped for my package to be delivered.

As someone who prefers tasks done and out of the way, this is a route I take repeatedly. Constantly checking off of my list of life goals and in so doing, inadvertently revisiting supposedly unanswered prayers.

Is this faithlessness or a momentary loss of faith? The fundamental question for me is: “Is faith constantly consistent?”

Hebrews 1: 6 says: But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

How do we live to please God when many of us sometimes doubt? It doesn’t help much that I’m an immensely curious person. My mind wanders, wonders and stumbles, upturning rocks and looking beneath the brush. And yet, the same Word of God points out that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. This here is my daily encourager. Underscoring that I am faulty and imperfect. That my faithlessness is the reason I perpetually need God, each moment.

Yet still, what preserves my occasionally shaky faith is that God is real for me. For all my life, amid my doubting faith, there has been a constant – God. He has always been there and supplied enough faith for me to know that no matter the situation, as my maker, He will never abscond his responsibility of me.   

But most importantly, my testimony is that God has been my every day help. Present, unwavering, firm. Assuring me that He’ll never, ever let go – whether my faith falters or is rock solid – and urging me to take one day at a time. For as long as I continue to trust Him, he’s got me by the hand, for the long haul.

My certainty, and that of us believers is that we are not forgotten. God loves us and is working on whatever it is for all who are waiting.  And whether he answers with a roar or whisper, He will come through for us, in His time.

By Essie Wambui <Twitter@westesita>

~Wakenya Canada